self portrait, April 2011

self portrait, April 2011, a photo by Ryan Vaarsi on Flickr.

I hate self portraits, but I think they help us learn something about ourselves. Or I hope they do. Or I'm just a fucking narcissist. I've many rather lovely neuroses bouncing around in me and a tendency toward self-criticality and self-examination are among them. Possibly that's from where this sort of self-torture-through-self-portraiture springs.

Really America?

How? How is it possible that this diseased and incompetent government, to which I already send a large chunk of every paycheck, needs yet another piece of the little bit that I earn? I have less than a third of the income of some people who I know for a fact are receiving rebates this year.

I suppose things would be different if we'd been good enough to reproduce, purchase property, i.e., be proper American worker-bees. But having made the choice to not be Breeders and having neither the cash nor the desire to purchase property, we are being punished by a system that seems designed to torment people like us.

Maybe we should have purchased land. Hell, there was a streak of a few years where people with no credit history, no collateral and (if you believe some of the stories) no proof of citizenship were able to buy property in America. Yeah, they eventually defaulted on the loans and got evicted, but so what? They probably got a nice fat tax rebate every year they had the house and their credit is probably mostly recovered by now.

I need to get out of this chicken-shit banana republic. I need to find someplace where I can pursue a fulfilling career, not be buried in usurious credit debt and keep a decent chunk of my earnings. Preferably somewhere that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the U.S., 'cause I'd like to do a little damage on my way out the door.

washing ashore

washing ashore, a photo by Ryan Vaarsi on Flickr.

I thought this was a throw-away shot at first. I was playing with my Speedlight and wanted to see what would happen if I just dumped it right on to my subject a la Weegee. Kenobi could have done without the annoyance, but he's never understood my needs, artistically speaking. After a few adjustments in Aperture I got something with some intriguing textures to it. And my 10-trillionth shot of Kenobi.

afternoon errands, Hoboken, NJ

afternoon errands, Hoboken, NJ, a photo by Ryan Vaarsi on Flickr.

Another shot from the part of Hoboken that most people don't see, mainly because there aren't any bars on Observer Highway. The scene reminds me of the cover from Physical Graffiti. I should go over to St. Mark's sometime and try and replicate that. Or not. Whatever.

Newark St., Hoboken, NJ

Newark St., Hoboken, NJ, a photo by Ryan Vaarsi on Flickr.

Hoboken is, without a doubt, the most gorgeous city in the world and the inflated property values bare this out.

Maxim

Maxim, a photo by Ryan Vaarsi on Flickr.

Words to live by.